What parents need to know starting the counselling process with their children.

Q: Can I claim through my medical aid for the sessions conducted?

A: It depends on your specific medical scheme and plan. What I usually recommend is that clients contact their medical scheme beforehand to ensure that counselling sessions are covered by their medical scheme. Some may require that you be referred to the counsellor by your GP; check with the particular medical aid as to how they work. In essence most medical schemes do cover limited counselling sessions.

Q: Please explain confidentiality working with children

A: Confidentiality is one of the most important components of the counselling relationship.

Even children need a place where they can share their thoughts and feelings without others knowing. Counsellors do not tell anyone else what you or your child talk about in sessions/consultations or that your child attends counselling. As a parent, you have the right to information about your child’s treatment so I will give you general updates on your child’s progress. I can also work with you on helpful ways to respond to your child, and I may ask you to help your child practice at home things s/he learns in counselling.

The nature of the information shared in counselling is treated as strictly confidential, unless the following three situations occur:

a. The child requests that the counsellor discloses certain information on his/her behalf with his/her written expressed assent, detailing the exact information to be disclosed;

b. If there is an emergency situation where the child is at risk of harming self or others, or places the life of self or another in danger, the counsellor is legally and ethically obligated to divulge this information to ensure the safety and protection of the client and other person(s);

c. The counsellor is ordered to disclose confidential information by the court of law (e.g. subpoenaed as a witness in court).

Q: How does counselling help children?

A: Each counselling process is unique, as well as the progress made during sessions.

The first step is to help children recognize and understand the feelings they are experiencing and the labels associated with those feelings. For example, anxiety, worry, anger, sadness, etc.

The next is to teach them more effective thinking and coping skills and how to regulate their own emotions, using evidence-based and age-appropriate methods. Role plays, relaxation and mindfulness techniques may also be helpful. And after the immediate challenges are dealt with, the aim is to develop longer term resilience and practical “life skills”.

However, the younger the age of the child, the more of a focus there is on helping PARENTS to help them – as that is what creates the best outcomes.

Many young people are struggling with how they feel. They might experience difficulties with friends, family or school, they are anxious, depressed, angry or scared and need to talk to someone, but find it difficult to talk to people they know. Counselling can help them talk things through and support them without making them feel judged (unless they disclose that their personal safety is at risk).

Q: What should parents tell their children BEFORE they come to counselling?

A: Parent can tell children that they are going to visit a counsellor – a type of “coach” who helps kids learn skills to handle all sorts of everyday things, such as situations, thoughts, feelings and dealing with other people.

They will spend some time with the counsellor talking about the good aspects of their life and also those aspects that may need some improvement. They will be able to talk about their family and friends and will also be learning some skills to help them cope better at school or at home.

It is also useful for parents to tell their children that counselling is a confidential/safe space where the child can discuss all his/her difficulties with the counsellor without worrying that the counsellor would break confidentiality or judge their difficulties.

Q: How many counselling sessions are required?

A: The number of sessions required depends on the specific presenting problem, as well as the motivation and effort of the child and parents to apply the strategies and skills taught in counselling. But I find that children with most common emotional or social concerns – for example, mild-to-moderate anxiety or worry – typically requires around 6 sessions to make solid progress.

Q: What happens in counselling?

A: At first, the counsellor will meet with the parent/s to discuss the presenting problem in detail. When you come for your first appointment you can expect to spend 30 mins – 1 hour at the practice. I will enquire about your child’s developmental and family history to get as much information as I can to recommend a treatment plan. This helps me to learn more about your child and about the presenting problem. The counsellor will tell you how they can help. The first few sessions focus on building rapport with the child (establish a therapeutic relationship), after trust is build by the child, the sessions will be much more structured. The structured sessions focus on the child’s specific presenting problem. When the counsellor feels that an adequate amount of information relating to the presenting problem is gained during the sessions the counsellor will provide feedback to the parents without invading the child’s right to confidentiality.

At the counselling visits, you child might:

• Talk: Talking is a healthy way to express feelings. When kids put feelings into words instead of actions, they can act their best. When someone listens and knows how they feel, kids are more ready to learn.

• Do activities: Counsellors use activities to teach about feelings and coping skills. They may have kids draw or play to learn. They may teach mindfulness and calm breathing to lower stress.

• Practice new skills: Counsellors help kids practice what they learn. They might play games where kids need to wait their turn, use self-control, be patient, follow directions, listen, share, try again, or deal with losing.

• Solve problems: With older kids and teens, counsellors ask how problems affect them at home, school etc. They talk over how to solve these problems.