Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and managing "IT".

I’m sure most of you have heard about the term ADHD! That’s probably because ADHD is one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders of childhood. Children with ADHD may have trouble paying attention, controlling impulsive behaviors, or be overly active.

It is normal for children to have trouble focusing and behaving at one time or another. However, children with ADHD do not just grow out of these behaviors. The symptoms continue, can be severe, and can cause difficulty at school, at home, or with friends.

Children with ADHD may also struggle with low self-esteem, school anxiety, troubled social relationships and poor performance in school. Symptoms sometimes lessen with age. However, some people never completely outgrow their ADHD symptoms. However, they can learn strategies to be successful.

The three different types of ADHD:

1. Predominantly Inattentive Presentation: It is hard for the child to organize or finish a task, to pay attention to details, or to follow instructions or conversations. The child is easily distracted or forgets details of daily routines.

2. Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Presentation: The child fidgets and talks a lot. It is hard to sit still for a long period of time (e.g., for a meal or while doing homework). The child feels restless and has trouble with impulsivity. Children who are impulsive may interrupt others a lot, grab things from people, or speak at inappropriate times. It is hard for the child to wait their turn or listen to directions.

3. Combined Presentation: Symptoms of the above two types are equally present in the child.

*Because symptoms can change over time, the presentation may change over time as well.

Managing ADHD in children.

While treatment won't cure ADHD, it can help a great deal with the presented symptoms.

Treatment typically involves medications, behavioral and school interventions. It's also important to work with a mental health professional to learn coping mechanisms that are nonpharmacological to help with ADHD symptoms and behaviors. A mental health professional can enhance the effectiveness of the medication and give tools to empower those with ADHD using treatments that may involve behavioral, psychological, social, educational and lifestyle interventions.

In all honesty, life with a child with ADHD or ADD can be overwhelming, even frustrating at times. But as a parent you can help your child overcome daily challenges and bring greater calm to your family. Children with ADHD generally have deficits in executive function: the ability to think and plan ahead, organize, control impulses, and complete tasks. So, this means you will need to take over as the executive, provide extra guidance while your child gradually acquires executive skills of their own.

If you keep in mind that having ADHD is just as frustrating for your child, it will be a lot easier to respond in positive, supportive ways. With patience, compassion, and plenty of support, you can manage childhood ADHD while enjoying a stable, happy home.

Some behavioral strategies to help manage your child’s ADHD.

1. The magic of praise and rewards.

Children with ADHD often receive and expect criticism more so than other children. This can really impact their self-esteem. Some days, you might have to really look for the good behavior, but you should praise good behavior at least five times more often than you criticize bad behavior.

2. Give clear, effective directions or commands.

Make eye contact or gently touch on arm or shoulder to get his or her attention. Give brief, simple steps and short commands that get to the point rather than multiple directions or wordy statements and questions.

3. Establish healthy habits.

If your child is on a medication, it should be taken as prescribed. Contact your child's health care provider if problems arise. Make sure your child is getting enough sleep, eating a well-balanced diet consisting of three meals, a snack and adequate water daily, and has an outlet for some form of daily exercise. These healthy habits will help your child to feel his or her best and help minimize ADHD symptoms.

4. Homework and chore routines?

Work together to make a checklist of what needs to be done surrounding daily chores, getting ready for bed and school for your child to refer to when he or she gets off task. Encourage your child to use a daily planner so he or she is aware of all homework assignments. Have an established time and location for homework, and use a timer to remind your child to show you how the homework is going two to four times per hour.

5. Help your child build relationships, strong social skills and maintain friendships.

Be a good role model of behavior you want your child to use. Factor in some special time three to five days a week with your child that is conflict-free and does not involve a screen to help maintain a strong parent-child relationship. Help your child develop at least one close friendship.

ADHD Parenting Tips 101 – recommendations from a counsellor.

#1: Keep a positive attitude and look after YOURSELF.

As a parent, you set the stage for your child’s emotional and physical health. You have control over many of the factors that can positively influence the symptoms of your child’s disorder.

• Maintain a positive attitude. Your best assets for helping your child meet the challenges of ADHD are your positive attitude and common sense. When you are calm and focused, you are more likely to be able to connect with your child, helping him or her to be calm and focused as well.

• Keep things in perspective. Remember that your child’s behavior is related to a disorder. Most of the time it is not intentional. Hold on to your sense of humor. What’s embarrassing today may be a funny family story ten years from now.

• Don’t sweat the small stuff and be willing to make some compromises. One chore left undone isn’t a big deal when your child has completed two others plus the day’s homework. If you are a perfectionist, you will not only be constantly dissatisfied but also create impossible expectations for your child with ADHD.

• Believe in your child. Think about or make a written list of everything that is positive, valuable, and unique about your child. Trust that your child can learn, change, mature, and succeed. Reaffirm this trust on a daily basis as you brush your teeth or make your coffee.

#2: Establish a structure and stick to it.

Children with ADHD are more likely to succeed in completing tasks when the tasks occur in predictable patterns and in predictable places. Your job is to create and sustain structure in your home, so that your child knows what to expect and what they are expected to do.

• Follow a routine. It is important to set a time and a place for everything to help the child with ADHD understand and meet expectations. Establish simple and predictable rituals for meals, homework, play, and bed. Have your child lay out clothes for the next morning before going to bed, and make sure whatever he or she needs to take to school is in a special place, ready to grab.

• Use clocks and timers. Consider placing clocks throughout the house, with a big one in your child’s bedroom. Allow enough time for what your child needs to do, such as homework or getting ready in the morning. Use a timer for homework or transitional times, such as between finishing up play and getting ready for bed.

• Simplify your child’s schedule. It is good to avoid idle time, but a child with ADHD may become more distracted and “wound up” if there are many after-school activities. You may need to make adjustments to the child’s after-school commitments based on the individual child’s abilities and the demands of particular activities.

• Create a quiet place. Make sure your child has a quiet, private space of their own. A porch or a bedroom work well, as long as it’s not the same place as the child goes for a time-out.

• Do your best to be neat and organized. Set up your home in an organized way. Make sure your child knows that everything has its place. Lead by example with neatness and organization as much as possible.

#3: Encourage movement and implement healthy sleeping habits

Children with ADHD often have a lot of energy to burn. Organized sports and other physical activities can help them get their energy out in healthy ways and focus their attention on specific movements and skills. The benefits of physical activity are endless: it improves concentration, decreases depression and anxiety, and promotes brain growth. Most importantly for children with attention deficits, however, is the fact that exercise leads to better sleep, which in turn can also reduce the symptoms of ADHD.

Find a sport that your child will enjoy and that suits their strengths. Children with ADHD may also benefit from training in martial arts (such as karate) or yoga, which enhance mental control as they work out the body.

#4: Set clear expectations and rules.

Children with ADHD need consistent rules that they can understand and follow. Make the rules of behavior for the family simple and clear. Write down the rules and hang them up in a place where your child can easily read them. Children with ADHD respond particularly well to organized systems of rewards and consequences. It’s important to explain what will happen when the rules are obeyed and when they are broken. Be on the lookout for good behavior; and praise it. Praise is especially important for children who have ADHD because they typically get so little of it. A smile, positive comment, or other reward from you can improve the attention, concentration and impulse control of your child with ADHD.

#5: Teach your child how to make friends [social skills, social skills, social skills!].

Children with ADHD often have difficulty with simple social interactions. They may struggle with reading social cues, talk too much, interrupt frequently, or come off as aggressive or “too intense.” Their relative emotional immaturity can make them stand out among children their own age, and make them targets for unfriendly teasing.

Don’t forget, though, that many kids with ADHD are exceptionally intelligent and creative and will eventually figure out for themselves how to get along with others and spot people who aren’t appropriate as friends. Moreover, personality traits that might exasperate parents and teachers may come across to peers as funny and charming.

Helping a child with ADHD improve social skills:

• It’s hard for children with ADHD to learn social skills and social rules. You can help your child with ADHD become a better listener, learn to read people’s faces and body language, and interact more smoothly in groups.

• Speak gently but honestly with your child about their challenges and how to make changes.

• Role-play various social scenarios with your child. Trade roles often and try to make it fun.

• Be careful to select playmates for your child with similar language and physical skills.

• Invite only one or two friends at a time at first. Watch them closely while they play and have a zero-tolerance policy for hitting, pushing and yelling.

• Make time and space for your child to play, and reward good play behaviors often.

#6: A special activity I like to use as part of at-home behavioral management.

Create a “Caught ya being good” jar and “Caught ya being bad” jar with slips, cotton balls or any other item that can be used to fill the jar at any point to reinforce positive behavior and punish negative behavior. When the desired behavior occurs, the item can be placed in the “Caught ya being good” jar. If any undesired behaviors occur, you can remove an item from the “Caught ya being good” jar and let the child throw it in the “Caught ya being bad” jar.

When the “Caught ya being good” jar is full, the child can be rewarded with the backup reinforcer (extra play time, a special toy, etc.) but when the “Caught ya being bad” jar is filled up first, something needs to be taken away from the child (play time, time-out, etc.) and the process starts from the beginning.